Don’t miss
When a man decides to shoot a prowler, he can’t afford to miss (from 1967)
Who wants Happy Pants?
Here’s an ad from December 1953 that inexplicably teams up the Christmas holiday, Santa, Bob Hope (upside down, no less), Hope’s movie “Here Come the Girls” and some latex diaper covers called “Happy Pants.”
Give your wife an extra head for Christmas.
Being that this ad is from 1969, the phrasing was probably intended to get a readers’ attention on several levels.
MORE: Vintage gift sets for women & girls: Fragrance, beauty & skincare for her
Child beats grandma
“With Betty Crocker cake mix, amateur baker bakes better cake than experienced homemaker using best two-egg recipe.” (from 1950)
Creeper Santa
So many questions! Like: Why is this lady wearing those heels to climb up a ladder?
And why is this lecherous-looking Santa Claus handing her some presents while she’s still up there? And how did she even manage to get her dress hooked on the Christmas tree like that?
ALSO SEE: 20 glamorous ’50s housewives who REALLY loved their toilet paper
More creepy Santa-ness
The old guy certainly seems to be enjoying that lingerie in this Mojud ad from 1953.
This Christmas, you’ll need a carload of Q-Tips
It’s astounding, the holiday stunts you can do with Q-Tips. So don’t borrow baby’s — keep these famous sterilized cotton swabs in every room. So handy a hundred ways, 365 days a year!
ALSO SEE: The history of Q-Tips – and their original name (which would never ever work today)
WIVES: Cry a little (1966)
WIVES: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to a.c. Carlson immediately, cry a little. Not a lot. Just a little. He’ll go. He’ll go.
HUSBANDS: Look this ad over carefully. Pick out what your wife wants. Come buy it. Before she starts to cry.
Dear Santa, Have you had the measles?
Okay, this song about the measles from 1956 gets points for being a collaboration between the great Cab Calloway and his daughter, but still…
Last night, Grandma got loaded
Last night, Grandma got loaded in five seconds flat, and shot Uncle Henry – Agfa Isoflash Rapid “C” camera (from December 1966)
That time the President sent cigarettes to all of his friends
“I’m sending Chesterfields to all my friends. That’s the merriest Christmas any smoker can have… – Ronald Reagan.” The actor is seen here in 1951, almost three decades before his presidency.
This Christmas, give cartons of Luckies
Who wouldn’t want a decorator pack of cigarettes?
MORE: How to be a perfect ’50s housewife: Love your refrigerator!
Give the pen that burps
Of all the possible marketing angles, they chose burps?
Better than mistletoe?
In 1969, the women’s liberation movement was beginning — and, well, let’s just say that it’s unlikely a woman came up with this ad campaign concept.
MORE: How to be a perfect ’50s housewife: Cleaning your home
Attention Men
Don’t let your wife face an unhappy ending to her perfect holiday meal
Oh, Santa – Why don’t you bring Sis the man she wants?
I guess they’re hoping Santa will bring some toothpaste. (From 1952)
MORE: Talking behind her back: 12 really mean vintage ads that could give anyone a complex
Guess what we got you!
Mother probably thinks she’s going to get a diamond necklace. Oh, won’t she be surprised when they take off her blindfold! (From 1937)
Happier with a Hoover
We think she’d be happier with a housekeeper.
ALSO SEE: The first vintage vacuum cleaners & the history of the famous Hoover Company
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?
This 1957 ad features a flashing Santa, opening up wide to show off some cigars.
Pucker up, ladies
Any woman knows what to expect when she gives him the best
NOW SEE THIS: 50+ sexist vintage ads so bad, you almost won’t believe they were real
One Response
Back in the 1960s and 70s, twisty ad headlines designed to grab the reader’s attention were quite common. As in “I can’t wait to shoot my wife and kids… with my new Kodak camera!” Today such headlines would be problematic to say the least…